So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize