You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
