I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
