So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm just crazy horny about you
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
