wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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