Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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