Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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