Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
