Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
