Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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