My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
