It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
