so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
