called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize
