For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
