my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
