I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
