I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
