i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize