morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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