My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
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Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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