My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
