thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
