Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love black thongs
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
