i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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