we're chasing vodka with high fives
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize