Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
