Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
