She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
