I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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