I wanna passion pit in your ass
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
