if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
