Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
