My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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