jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
