so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
