Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
