god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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