She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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