why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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