thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
