I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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