lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
