You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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