but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
