We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
