just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
