I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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