So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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