I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
