He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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