I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
