Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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