i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
