shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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