Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
