Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
