member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
