I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
