Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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