and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
