i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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