I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Welp...herpes.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
