it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She is in my trunk
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
